Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
