i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
