My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am spending my child support on dildos
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
