...so i touched it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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