I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
