I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
