i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
