She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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