i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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