All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
