Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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