He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
