physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
