I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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