that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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