I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
