i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
