I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
