it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
