You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
