youre lurking in front of me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We named our party play list daddy issues
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i dont even know how to be here
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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