tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
