she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
