maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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