Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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