How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize