After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
