Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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