im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
