Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize