Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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