I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
