I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
