i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
