you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
