Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
