We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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