After last night, I could never be a politician.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I did not marry a roomba.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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