You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dignity is for republicans.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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