Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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