im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize