Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
