The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I smell like Dick and happiness
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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