Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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