is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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