Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
