BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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