This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
