happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
