shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
