Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
