Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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