Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
