He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
did you just send me my own nude
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
