i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
