im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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