WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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