i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
